get up and walk

'They' say that "relapse is a part of recovery".
Right now im wondering if 'they' have ever lived through a relapse - because to me, it just seems that relapse destroys recovery. ...It takes anything and everything i've been working through and toward and takes it all away in one violent swoop.
I take full responsibility for that initial choice that lead me back to this hell.
...and i hope that i can take the full responsibility for doing whatever i need to climb back out.

God - i know these walls are high... please - i plead with you - walk with your child through this.

[.i see the wonder setting in . over where im going and where ive been . and by the way when i kneel to pray . it never seems you're there ... and i will try for happniess . in the midst of all this emptiness . all i want is you . if i only knew . how to get up off this floor.]
.6nonetherich.