Forgive me now cause I
Have been unfaithful
Don’t ask me why cause I don’t know

So many times I’ve tried
But was unable
But this heart belongs to you alone

Chorus
Now I’m in our secret place
Alone in your embrace
Where all my wrongs have been erased
You have forgiven

All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven

Forgive me I’m ashamed
I’ve loved another
I can’t explain cause I don’t know
No one can take your place
And there is no other
Forever yours and yours alone

Bridge
Take me to our secret place
(We’ll leave the world away)
I get down on my knees
Feel your love wash over me
There will never be another
You’re the only one forever
And you know I’m yours alone



Do I not think He is a forgiving God? When i was asked to write out aspects of what i would look for in a God -- was Forgiving and Loving not on the top of that list? And did i not come to reason out that the list i had made was in fact the God i know?
...I've placed characteristics with his name that belong no where near him. I've taken who he is and warped it in my head to make someone i can so easily be angry at and lash out against.
Hate and Anger seem so much safer than Love to me...
Yet Im finding that actually... hate and anger are so horrifyingly destructive and debilitating...
The battle within is so fierce right now. I never really thought much about it being a spiritual ordeal.. but somehow, i can't explain it in any other way.
Its like -- in the Shane & Shane song 'You and I'...
In the bridge as the passion escalates one sings - [You are CLEAN! ]
and the other one is almost yelling it out - singing - [I am Dirty....so unworthy...so dirty..]
This is the battle cry of my soul today.

God can not love me like this.. im having trouble accepting any of it.
i've got to find a way to break it down.. or even better, trust him enough to let him break it...