The motivation to sit still long enough to write has been fleeting - and i have a ton of things i need to get down, so i better jot it now while im in that mode.
I have never in my life experienced the Love and Grace i have in the past few months.
Long story short - while uprooting my whole life to Kansas in order to get my life back on track is the best choice that could have been made, i have never been so in need. Yet, Ive never in my life been so grateful.
2 weeks ago i was freaking out completely because i had no way of paying for rent...food...toothpaste... anything. And i started to question God - asking with such disdain -- "why did you move me here? Did i make the wrong choice? i thought without a shadow of a doubt this is what i was supposed to do... and now im completely on my own over here... What is this grand plan of yours that im not seeing??"
I talked to an amazing woman of God from Vh and she walked me through the events that have lead me to this point - showing me how clearly God had placed me here... "God did not do all this to move you here only to then drop you on your head!"
True Story.
So... i get on my face... literally. -- ok God - i just... please... i need a job. i need a way to pay for rent.. I dont know where im going to live come next week. ...a shelter? my car? ...
5 min later i get a call for an interview the next morning. ...after my interview (which went well).. i headed up to Vh to get some perspective and some love from the women up there. That night, i hit up a meeting ...and a woman from my home group approaches me and says - hey, i need your help with something! ..She proceeds to tell me that shes been trying to make amends for the past 3 years on something - and somehow i (who have known her for a month) can help her do it..... ok?.. she says... "I need to pay your rent next week"
WHAT?!
yeah... for real.
The next day, God provided funds from a close friend (who did not at all know the dire straights i have been facing)...and i was able to get food... and toothpaste.. :)
Then... i go to my meeting Friday night and the chick who said she wanted to pay my rent says...oh, btw, i got you for 2 weeks.
WHAT?!
..then... (i know, right..)
I had an appointment with catholic charities monday - and they opted to pay a weeks worth of rent.
....at this.... i am still recovering. Janet said - "So girl...at WHAT point are you going to start TRUSTING Him?!"
For real..... for real.